I appologise ..

I'm sorry for what I've done yesterday. I know that I should have think in your shoes and be supportive. May be it's just that I'm all alone here, no one to talk to when I'm home. Just facing the walls and the computer makes my mind go crazy. The only way I got to connect with people is when I'm in college. Thats why I spend almost all the time in college, so that I can chat with friends around.
From now on I will be by your side and support you or at least give your moral support. I wont be childish as yesterday already, dont worry.
Please consult the doctor if you are not feeling well, dont wait until the last minute like our current case. It's BAD for your health. Tell me your feelings, so that I can share it with you. Dont keep it in your heart.
No matter how, there is only one thing I can say and for sure this is the very true fact. That is
I LOVE YOU ...

Please be tough ~~

I know you're suffering from pain. I know you have no appetie to eat. I also know that you are very tired of fighting. But, please listen to me, please listen to us.
Be tough and fight till the very end. You're not weak, instead you're very strong. You dont have to worry, we will always beside you, be there for you, supporting you.
Yet you are there and I'm here. Too far to visit you. I appologise for this. Sorry. Sorry for not going back. But I promise you, I will be back year end.
Meantime, please listen to his instruction and stay tough. I know you can do it. You are not anybody else. You are you. You are stronger than I had ever thought. So, please wait for me.
Wait for me ...

nearly FAINTED !!!!!!!

Have you ever fainted before??? what does it feel like??

Thursday, as usual, i went to work at 5pm. walk to the station around 4.15 and catch a bus at 4.30pm, reach the hotel 4.45, pretty perfect timing^^ except that i feel a bit hungry in my tummy, but i just ignore it cuz later we'll be having dinner in kitchen.

So, i changed my clothes and went up to main kitchen to start my work. starting off my job by distributing pancetta on steaming tray and bake it. Then continued with my slicing onions and this is when everything happens. I was continue slicing and discovered that some red thing was flowing out. with very slowwwwwwwww responding system (dunno why), i only then realise it's my finger tip that had been cut off...

Flesh of finger tip still clinging and the nail also cracked. the blood is really like water tap, running out non stop. really dunno how many tissues i had used to stop the blood. that moment i was standing beside and Andrew (one of the collegues) went to fatch me some plaster to wrap my cut.

The strange thing is, my head starting to feel heavy and dizzy. it was weird. i never had this experience before. after my ignorance, it became more and more serious. image starting to go blur and when andrew came back with the plaster, i barely the shape of someone walking to me. I held out my hand and said stop. Hideaski (the sous chef) came around and ask me what happen. His sound was really really small, seems like he's talking from far away. weird, he was just standing beside me.

All the sound around seems like came to a stop suddenly. As written in the book, those people who is going to pass out describe it with 'someone must have switch of all the fan'. Its was so quiet in the kitchen. Then the chef assist me to the dry store and i sat there to rest. andrew bring me a bottle of sprite and ask me to finish it. i was like =.=ll 'huh?? feel dizzy drink sprite??' weird. he said sprite contain sugar so it helps.

ok. i drank. well i feel better after awhile and recovered after 5 minutes. hmmm, may be it really helps, haha thanks andrew^^ the chef saw me walking out of the room and ask me if im ok. he even asked me do i wana go home.. =.=ll i said no immediately. so small matter also need to go home?? cut my finger only what... but appreciate their heart, hehe thanks chef^^ but then later on andrew dont allow me to do more hard work anymore, just give me some simple task, seems like afraid of me will faint, =.=ll ... I'm ok lah andrew, swt...

hmmm, thats my first experience of ALMOST fainting.. pretty cool, haha^^ but cant imagine what if i really faint?? hmmm, god knows... LOL

by the way, i got my mid term results>>

- HR 26/30

- Business comm 77/90

- Kitchen studies 56/70

- IT 33/35

hehe, mum dont worry bout my results.. i will take care of it, wont like form 5 chemistry , haha XD

(seriously i dont know what happen to my spacing, sorry for the inconvinience guys... )

working.. working.. working...

HUH... I'm really tired.. tired standing from 10am to 6.30pm WITHOUT even have a minute to sit !!! Galileo restaurant, which i am working now had some sort of function consider as high tea for 600 ppl. my godness, with 10 ppl working in the kitchen to produce 600 dishes of food, that's really insane ... everyone of us doesnt even get a chance to have break or had lunch !!!

well actually it's quite fun^^ didnt have such experince in kitchen before.. working non-stop and having fun on each other, haha =] the chefs there were really funny, sometimes they're really like kids, playing around.. =.=ll (sorry chef :P) we haven include room service orders from the hotel yet, in the middle of serving, we still had to do room service order ( why on earth those ppl doesnt go out on saturday and instead order room service and stay in the room??? cant figure it out @.@ )

whatever .. In the process of having domino's pizza while working, we're actually enjoying (but leg hurts =(( ) the floor staffs are may be more tired bcuz they had to deliver the food from kitchen all the way to restaurant and come back again for another round for like 20 times per service?? thats pretty tired, BUT they get tips for customers while we in kitchen doesnt get it, so unfair T_T ...

working through out the day gives me excuse not to go exercise for that day, haha.. erm, it's actually consider as exercise cuz walking here and there is kind of exercise also^^

whu~~ working is really tough, will i be able to face that after studies??? no one knows ....

Mooncake festivaL

Yesterday yvonne, jim and I went pyrmount to join a BBQ party helded by a fren of jim's. erm, i forgot wat's his name but he is from taiwan. the main reason he held this small gathering is to celebrate mooncake festival cuz in taiwan, except for chinese new year, mooncake festival is the biggest celebration for them.

Unfortunately, it rains whole day yesterday. we didnt even get the chance to glance at the moon. it's all covered by the dark clouds =(( but anyway, its a warm gathering and everyone have some mooncake and some tea. we all chat around and the host asked me some question>>>

host : so where did you study at?

me : oh, william blue.

host : oh, that william blue. it's quite high standard, not easy to study. where did you study your language?

me : @.@ hah?? language?

my uncle add in and said : she doesnt need to study language cuz her language is better than me.

host : oh really? good for you ..

me : =.=ll ... *speechless ...

Well, now only i understand we malaysian had so much advantage bcuz we know many language. everyone here (oversea students) also ask me the same question >> where did you study your english?? i was like 'erm, back in msia' ... =.=ll

now only i know that other countries' ppl didnt study english much. they just started to learn english when they wana come here, like korean, vietnamese, chinese from china .... well, i'm so lucky i was born in here.. at least i know so many language^^ haha, terima kasih malaysia^^

anyway, HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL EVERYONE !!!! ^^

**i celebrate my mooncake festival in the rain, hehe.. althought cant see the monn, but i like it, bcuz i like the rain^^ hehe ...

Korean dramaS

Recently addicted to this korean drama~~

Main actor were the f4 handsome guy, my gosh how come they are can be so handsome?? althought as we all know korea is a 'plastic sugery country', but they looks really charming~~ beaten by their looks ady~~ my favourite>> kim bum and hyun joong^^ wahaha

those who haven watch this show please watch it, NICE^^

now watching this>>>

wheeee~~ korean drama rules^^

Busy weeK ~~

Since term 2 strated, i rarely have time and the mood to blog. First is because the timetable had changed and i had quite many morning class this term. Secondly, i'm almost addicted to facebook and had posted whatever happen recently there. **all the pictures i've uploaded it on facebook.

-canberra-

Last saturday, mina and i went canberra which is known as the capital of australia. This is my first visit to canberra as well as mina. Her so called brother (which is a very good fren since high skul) is studying in Australia National University there, so he had been tour tour guide that day. The journey from sydney to canberra took about 3 and a half hours. mina and my butt was almost numb when we reach there and the coach driver didnt even stop half way. my god !! imagine that sitting on the coach seat for so long~~

But anyway, we manage to arrive there with our butt safely and another thing came up. WE ARE FREEZING !!!!!!!! the whether there was still below 10 degrees ... my god, we both thought its spring already sodidnt really wear thick clothes but then when the wind blows~~ whuuu~~ It is cold straight to your skin >.< ...Half way hiding and half way running, at last we cant stand the cold and went in David Jones to hide for awhile. bought some hot drinks then we came out again.

Continue our journey to the bus station in cold wind and raining cats and dogs. whuuu~~ we really should have wear thicker clothes T_T ... got up the bus and reach the flower festival which is the main reason we came here for. Let me tell you guys, if you think the flowers in cameron is beautiful, then you will be amaze that the flowers here are much more pretty compared to cameron. No matter what colour that is suitable for flower they have it here, white, pink, orange, red, purple, blue, yellow, ....... blah blah blah.....

In the middle of this flower watching, we went for face printing and temporary tatoo^^ its fun !! wahaha =] i had a unicorn pic on my face while mina had a lullabee =)) after the printing, we both felt something very strange>>> everyone is starring at us !!! since the tatoo last for one day, so we went back to shopping centre and walking around with it :P

** i've uploaded my pics on facebook, feel free to have a glance^^

after the flower festival, we went back and have visit in ANU. Its so big and its really uni surroundings... like it so much. I must go university also^^ after that no much to write.. bought some snacks back to coach and thats the end of our one day trip~~ hehe although its very short but fun, huhu=]

-holistic placement-

One of our term requirement is to complete 48 service periods in the kitchen except in skul. thus we have to find an establishment to complete it. Tuesday morning, michael, one of our college admin had arrange an appointment interview in Obsevatory hotel which is 5 star hotel in Sydney. i was so happy to hear that and went for the interview that afternoon. But there is a regret part i had. SHANGRI_LA HOTEL CALLED ME THIS AFTERNOON AND WANT ME TO HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH THEM!!!!! oh my gosh, although 2 hotels are 5 star, but i prefer shangri-la bcuz its an internatinal chain hotel... but now i'm confuse. since i already got the job in observatory, should i go for shangri-la?? i really want it so muchhhhhhhhhh, but should i go for it?? somebody pls tell me~~

**grandma had been admitted hospital in and out and finally now she is fine. glad to hear that. grandma, recover soon.. i'll be back this year end.. i'll pray hard for you =))

messy mind

sorry guys didnt updated it for so long, been busy and a bit lazy to renew it..

so this is what happen since my mum's birthday:
1. my birthday^^
2. yvonne's place during weekends
3. grandma's bad news

ok, start with my birthday first .. It's pretty cool >.< , we went to a korean restaurant and have dinner around 7pm. Frens who turned up that day was >>>> jason, emma, janet, olivia, alex, raymond, adrian, mina, zin, jojo, andy, kevin, and finally knot. They were all so 'give face', haha as it was my 18th birthday so they said it's a big day that needed to be celebrated crazily. knot said he's gonna make me drunk that day (hoho, but he's the one who end up drunken, =.=ll)

everyone arrived and have dinner, some of them even brought me presents .. gosh, i didnt even thought that they would have give me gifts. so happy^^ (thank you guys, of cuz) jason>flower, emma>chocolates (probably she dont know i dont like chocolate, but anyway thanks^^), alex>perfume first time in life =.=ll) and the rest>cake =]

3 cakes .. they bought me 3 cakes man .. =.=ll althought i was so happy, but wouldn't it be a bit heavy for you guys?? i appreciated it so much, muakssss~~ one is ice-cream cake, one is chocolate cake (=.=ll) and the other one is coffee cake^^ hoho, gonna be fatter a few kgs' again after eating those (gulping saliva, dont wana be fat T_T)

fun all the way through out dinner .. had a couple bottle of beer (since they said wana get me drunk, so i drink lo .. ) but weird, nothing happen, haha cuz beer's alcohol contain is very less, u feel nothing even drinking a few bottles.. (luckily didnt mixed with soju, if not sure hang over ady :P)

finishing meal around 10pm, we went karaoke AGAIN .. haiz australia dont have much night places to go, not even shopping centre to hang out cuz they all closed at 5pm.. so karaoke and night clubs is the only place to hang out. dont feel like going night clubs, we went karaoke instead^^ sang songs and some chinese songs (long time didnt sing ady :P) and continue drinking beer~~ =.=ll

drank about 5 bottles in 1 hour, wow !! thats almost broke my record, but didnt feel any dizzy at all =.=ll (knot: eh, why u still didnt pass out one??) wah, seems like they all really wana see me vomit like that .. hah, but i geng ma, u tot so easy ah?? wahahahahahahahaha XD kevin, knot and alex kept odering beer and drinking, i think there are more than 30 bottles of beer ordered. gosh, they come here for singing or drinking?? @.@ ... but finally knot was drunk, he drank almost 13 bottles .. hoho, see you are the one end up hang over :P

after karaoke its already 1 something, so everyone went home as the is a morning class 2moro (that time i really wonder whether we will turn up for class anot, cuz if we didnt turn up, there sure will be less than 5 ppl in class only, kakakaka^^) but, finally almost everyone manage to attend the class except knot, haha XD he was still slepping as drank too much yesterday .. haha

yesterday, i heard a bad news from mum. Grandma admitted hospital =[ mum told me her stomach was swellen up like 8 months pregnant and now the doctor found out the problem .. operation is gonna take place 2moro .. T_T i was so down, nothing i can do to help. grandma, pls be save .. pls be allright .. god, can you make sure grandma is allright?? pls .. grandma, be tough, you will be allright .. you will be ...

~HappY biRthDay Mum~

Today, the 8th of sept is my dearest mum's birthday .. She is the most beautiful and kindest mother in the entire universe .. here are words i would like to tell you mum :

i miss you so much, none of any day i didnt wish to see you and dad and brothers. but i know i had to be independent, its time for me to make decision and bring it on to my life on my own. there are still two brothers at home that needs much more care. you are always the superwoman to me. no matter it's house work, office work, three of us tuisyen fetching, schooling or anything, you are handling it way too good, things hardly went wrong if these things were handle by you. sometimes i really dont know how you manage so many things, but i know its your love to us that makes you perfect. you have migrain easily and always have headache, but you stay until everything is finished, brothers' homework checked, office work done then only you go to bed. i had headache before, i know how it hurts, but your migrain is of cuz far more painful and you still have to go work with migrain. mum, you're too strong, stronger than anything else ..

when three of us are having school holidays, you and dad will always bring us for holidays. i understands than i always had more holidays than some of my frens. this is bcuz u know i'm playful and like outgoing activities and travel, so u and dad will bring us for holidays whenever its possible. last year when i'm in high school and wondering what's my next step. you gave me advice and encourage me to come aussie and study. you told me once, you also dream to study oversea but you didnt have the opportunity. you told me you will send your children if you afford it bcuz you dont want us to lose the opportunity. i know its lots of hard work for you and dad to manage my fees, but dont worry, i swear i will not play around and waste my time, i will study hard and get good results .. i promise ..

today, its your birthday. althought i dont get the chance to celebrate with you, but i would like to say thank you mum, for all the things you had done for us. Pls forgive if we made any silly mistakes ..

mum, i love you~~

FirsT week is FUN^^

First week of college was kinda fun .. cuz it's still new and fresh to everyone^^ Each subject was new except kitchen operations, which is good. we get to know new frens and new lecturers (i miss bernard so much T_T) but anyway i found the second bernard>>>anthony who teaches us Infromation technology. He was also funny and makes our class go live so that it didnt seem boring.. its FUN^^

It was only the second day of college, we already received this HEAVY AND HOLLY THICK TEXTBOOKS !!!!!

my godness .. how am I gonna read that through?? we are getting textbooks (which is the first 2 thick books) only in this term, we didnt even have a single one last term. but luckily the lecturer told us that we dont need to bring those book to college, YAY!! we only need to read it at home and it's mainly for extra knowledge and referencing, wahahaha =]

last thursday, we went Vibe Hotel for our room division class. IT only sayd 'room division', but IT IS HOUSEKEEPING!!! and it means it's like maids job .. we have to clean up the room from top to toe. starting with cleaning the high ceiling, wipe the tables and chairs, make the bed, change the linens, wash the toilets, bla bla bla .. its so tiring. Now, i start to appreaciate the housekeeping department, what a tough job it is~~

I've been staying in hotels for so many times and this is the only the first time i notice the room so throughly. making sure every glass is dust-free, polish the basin, water tap and mirror in bathroom, make the bed nice and change the linen of everything. GODNESS!! i didnt even do these things at home and now i'm doing it for other people. my parents are not gonna believe it. but u know wat?? just try it and you will know ...

erm, too much fun this week in class chatting with frens and new lecturer. i feel like we're getting closer and know each other more and more. Good news huh?? hehe^^anyway, thats a good start for term 2, guys let's work hard together^^

GAMBATEH!!!!!